Some music

I just really love this song. It has no special meaning to me, doesn't make me think of anything...which I think I like. I get so excited when this song comes on the radio.

And a Nellie video. Because I just really love her a lot. A LOT.

My latest obsession..

If you know me at all, you know that I love me some tv. Last summer I fell in LOOOOOVE with the Glee Project. I felt like I knew the kids that were on the show, and when they showed up on Glee I teenied a little bit. I was Team Sam all the way! (And he WON! Well, he was the co-winner.)

Seriously...make me DROOL. He has the most intense face, and the DREADLOCKS. I die. I have been in love with dreadlocks on boys ever since 2003. Swooooon! Plus the kid could SING.

Anyway...when this season was about to start, I wasn't sure how I felt about the whole thing. I was so attached to the kids from last year that I wanted to see them ALL on Glee. I figured that Robert Ulrich better have some tricks up his sleeve to be able to win me over with a new crew of misfits. Let's be honest. Then I saw this picture:

Ok...so I saw a girl in a wheelchair (been done x2), Mike Chang 2.0, white Mercedes, a blonde version of my cousin (the resemblance gets scary sometimes), and a Justin Bieber lookalike. But hey, there were some cute boys! Maybe this won't be so bad. No Samuel Larsen...but ok.

You guys! I am OBSESSED. I don't even know why. But I find myself spending my free time perusing the internet for videos of these people. I tweet them. (Who does that? I probably freak them out...) I watch their interviews and audition tapes. I read people's comments about them on websites. I feel like I need a TGP2 intervention. But with that being said...here are my favorites!

Dani Shay

Yes, she looks like Bieber. Get over it. She is soooo much more. If you watch her videos on youtube, you will see just how incredible she is. She has this amazing folksy sound to her voice. Can I admit that I have the hugest girl crush on her? I think she is so beyond beautiful. Her eyes are unreal. Even Lea Michele told her that she just wants to watch her because she's so gorgeous. Sadly, Dani got the boot on episode 2, but I think she is going to do amazing things. Just check out her beautiful version of Pink's "Perfect".

Nellie Veitenheimer

There's something about the girls this season...I don't know what it is but they are winning me over! I am such a fan of this girl already. I think her voice is so incredibly unique and beautiful. It gives me chills every time she sings! I'm usually really picky about girl's voices too. Nellie is just so real and down to earth. I feel like if we were the same age and grew up in the same town we'd be BFF. I can relate to her feelings of not fitting in during high school, and not being sure about what you want to do with your life. If I had HER talent though, well that would be a no brainer. Check out her version of "Halo". It's so cool. SHE is just so cool in her own quirky way.

I haven't decided on my favorite guy yet. I have been so entranced by the girls and their personalities, and none of the boys have really made an impression on me yet. I love (and I mean LOVE) Mario's voice, but he's a little too into himself for my liking. I like Tyler but he complains a lot. I enjoy Blake and Micheal...they are very easy on the eyes and seem good at what they do (but they are not underdogs!!) So...I am not committing to this, but I THINK I am rooting for Charlie. He has cracked me up the most so far. I can't decide if he borders on annoying though. I know that's wrong to say because he can't help his ADHD and autism. I'm thinking I like it though. Plus I've been following him on twitter (@Charlie_Lubeck) and I like his sarcasm.
And this video won me over:

He's FUNNY. Ninjas!!!

So those are my thoughts. Anyone else out there watch this show? I feel it's completely underrated. But I kinda like it that way. I can't say that these people will win, but MAN, I love them. 

BUT - Nellie is moving to L.A. as I am typing this. A small-town girl from Washington...could it be a SPOILER?! Whatever she is moving there for...just means that hopefully we will be seeing more of her! And I couldn't be happier about that! 

So...Ryan Murphy...DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME!!! You made good choices last year, let's keep it that way! 

And just because I love it so much, here is one of my favorite Zach Woodley faces.

I call it the "Proud Papa" face.

You go, Zach Woodley!

10 Things I Would Tell My 16-Year Old Self!!

I know that I always wish I could go back and change things...I'm sure EVERYONE does...but some of these things would have been beneficial to know 13 years ago!! (Man I'm getting so oldddd):

10. Get better grades!  You were capable of so much more, and could have gotten a scholarship if you would have applied yourself more.

9. AP classes, although tough, are more important than being Office Aide.

8. The Moffatts will break up in 2001. (Yes I know they are brothers...but brothers can break up haha) This will change a lot of things for you but it has helped you gain a whole new family, who will be stuck with you forever! So enjoy every trip and every second of each concert. You will be devastated when it’s over. (I was…I cried for weeks and people thought my family had died or something haha)

7. A website will be invented where you will be able to see everyone after high school, even if you aren’t interested in seeing them. It’s called Facebook. And it will prevent you from going to your 10-year reunion because you already know what everyone is up to. And this makes you relieved, because you still live at home and that’s something you don’t want to announce to the world. HA! Maybe 15 will be more inviting.

6. Don’t take your time with people for granted. Some of them won’t make it past 25, so enjoy every waking moment you spend with them. RIP Scott (my first boyfriend ever) and RIP Ryan (my senior BFF and prom date).

5. Don’t be ashamed to be different. Yes, the boys in your grade are going to make fun of you for loving Hanson and the Moffatts. Yes, they are going to write obsessively about it in your yearbook. But those will be some of the greatest times/memories of your life, and none of those people can take THAT away from you.

4. One day you will be more confident in your own skin. Although confidence has always been a struggle, I can’t remember a time when I felt less sure about myself. The “GI Bubble” was never comfortable for me, which is why a lot of my friends during my teenage years were from other cities. I never fit the mold at GIHS…but I fit in with so many other people.

3. Forgive and forget. You have always been good at this, but it will be important to remember after senior year when you lose some of your best friends over some stupid boys. It won’t last forever, but it’s a tough time. Luckily you will make lots of new friends in college.

2. Your attitude can make a world of difference. I tend to be pessimistic about things and get down on myself easily. Attitude really does change things, and that's something I always need to remember.

1. Your best years are still ahead of you! College ended up being the most spectacular time of my life. I had lots of friends, people liked me, and I did well in school. IT GETS BETTER!!

Take a listen

Favorite Song

I find myself able to relate to this song all the time. It's been a favorite of mine for a very long time. Depending on how you take it, it can sound kind of morbid. But to me, this song is about finding peace when turmoil is all around you. If you just let go and let things happen, you may face some hardships, but you just have to trust that you are doing the right thing.

"This Is Not An Exit" 
Saves the Day  
Tonight will be the night that we begin to ease the plugs out of the dam. 
And we will stand knee deep in the flow, the undertow will grab our heels and won't let go. 
And while we hold, our legs quivering, the water rises now to our teeth when we just let go 
and sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping our backs. 
To breathe in the air will be the only thing that we have 
and all the wasted nights and empty moments in our lives 
are flushed away as we sway with the rhythm 
of the waves bobbing us up. Crests fall to troughs, feel our gills open up 
and sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping our backs. 
To breathe in the air will be the only thing that we have. 
And if the hook sets in the bottom of our lungs, we'll rip it out and lick the blood off with our tongues. 

Despair could ravage you 
if you turn your head around and look down the path 
that's lead you here, cause what can you change? 
You're a vessel now floating down the waterways. 
You can take your rudder and take your ship, just don't bother with the things left in your wake. 
Just sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping your back. 
To breathe in the air will be the only thing that you have 
and your love will be warm nights 
with pockets of moonlight spotlighting you as you drift, the actor in this play. 
And you walk across the stage, take a bow, hear the applause, 
and as the curtain falls, just know you did it all 
the best that you knew how 
and you can hear them cheering now. 
So let a smile out and show your teeth cause you know you lived it well.

I can't even describe how much I relate to this song. It says everything.

Goodbye Facebook!!!

Ahhh hey!
I'm on a mission to simplify my life during these crazy times, which led me to deactivate my Facebook. I was spending too much time on there worrying about everyone else. It just felt right when I did it today. I felt a peace and calm come over me. So in order to express my thoughts, I'm turning back to my twitter. I don't have to read any status updates there. Heck, I only have 2 followers! Much more simple. My username is @laurenjayii if you are interested! I also plan to update more often. I can't PROMISE since life has been crazy but I have good intentions :)
With love from the Mitten-
Lo

Challenge #2: 3 Fears

#3: I am terrified of not having enough money to pay for the things I need.

I am not sure where this fear came from; I think I may have been born with it. I’ve always been careful about certain things, and I’ve never been one to spend my money all in one place, per say. But in the past few years, I have become terrified of not having enough money to get a house and pay for all of the things that go along with it. I want to be able to do things myself, so it’s hard for me to hear Nick say things like “I have X amount of money saved for a house down payment.” Even though we’re getting married. I guess I feel like he earned that money, and I don’t take handouts easily. I will be the first person to give someone money if they need it though.


#2: I'm afraid to fail.
This one doesn't really need an explanation. I am completely afraid to fail at anything.


#1: I am afraid of change.

I know that change is part of life, and that things are constantly changing and evolving. I know that things can't always stay the same. I just do not deal well with change at all. Especially big changes. Sometimes I even have a hard time with good changes. I think change makes me feel that in order to take on or begin something new, something else has to end to make room for it. I hate endings. (Unless we are talking about the end of the work day or week, then I don't mind them!) I think changes scare me because you are dealing with the unknown. I have a hard time with that.