Things I’ve learned working in a school

#5 – Children often times confuse poop for an art tool.

I cannot tell you how many times in a year I get an all-staff e-mail about a “poop artist” in the lower or upper el boys bathroom. More times than you want to know about!

#4 – Don’t assume a child knows how to do something – no matter how simple – because most of the time they can’t. Even after you teach it to them.

i.e. Today, at the end of fourth grade, one of my students couldn’t add 14 + 14 + 14 + 20 + 23. He put that the answer was 47, and then proceeded to tell me that he was “close” when I re-added it. 47 IS NOT ANYWHERE NEAR 85!! I was fuming.

#3 – Most kids are brutally honest.

They will ask you pretty much anything. The one question I got the most this year…”When are you going to make your hair yellow again? It looks better that way.” Brutally honest.

#2 – The gym teacher is always the favorite teacher.

There must be something inviting to a kid about a teacher who wears sweat pants and t-shirts to school every day of the week. In every school I’ve been in (with the exception of my middle school years) the gym teacher is ALWAYS the favorite. Kids love gym!! (PS - I know they get a bad rep from movies and tv shows...but in real life, they are the favorite!)

#1 – Never, and I mean NEVER, eat homemade baked goods for a student’s birthday.

You don’t know where those baked goods came from, and chances are they came from somewhere very unsanitary. I know it sounds mean, but in this year alone, I have seen students eating cupcakes and cookies with hairs baked on or in them on MANY occasions. It’s DISGUSTING. I don’t care how good they look, DON’T DO IT. You can eat baked goods from the store though! Those are usually safe J